This is what I look like while walking by the lakefront. A giant bug.
This is what I feel like. I’m getting steamed.
I believe the other masked people are smiling at me. I don’t know this, of course, but I feel this. Beneath our masks, we are saying “Thank you for looking out for me.”
Some people without masks stare at me like I’m a zoo animal. Some snicker. Some smile. Their unmasked faces are telling. Sometimes I smile back, but they don’t know that.
Do you remember that kid question? Would you rather be invisible or fly? I always chose invisibility and in truth, this is the closest I’ve felt to that. I think what I liked about invisibility is you get left alone. I’ve never been very good at hiding my emotions and this mask gives me the freedom to not respond to people. I love that. The only other time I felt so unobligated was when I shattered my elbow and needed a morphine drip. People would stand over me and I didn’t have to make them feel better. I’d just close by eyes and reenter my weird dreams. I wish COVID was a weird dream.
Whenever I think about not wearing a mask, I think about the oldest person that I love and the most health compromised child that I know. There’s a million other people to think about but these two help me put on my mask when it’s 90 degrees, cause I don’t want to kill them. I’m not sure why people have trouble understanding that. I’m not sure why 130,000 dead isn’t incentive enough.
“It’s not comfortable,” people say. But it’s summer and I’ve seen a lot of thong bathing suits and they’re not comfortable. I know it’s very important to have a tan bottom, so a compromise is being made. A swim dress is very comfortable but then you can’t show off your tush and your abs. So, following that logic, it’s like asking you to wear a thong so other people get attention for their hot bod. We live in a “look at me world” not a “look at them world”.
I understand that you don’t know anyone who died from it. That’s lucky. But just because you don’t know people who died, doesn’t mean they didn’t die. It’s not like the movies. Just because you didn't see it, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen in your world.
I understand that you think it’s a hoax. Your tv channel is telling you this, and who doesn’t believe their tv channel? I’m so old, I remember when we knew tv was pretending.
Finally, there are some other perks. This morning, when I blasted my music through my headphones and started singing along, it didn't matter. I was unrecognizable and so I could be as crazy as I wanted. If you’re not going to wear a mask to help others, find another reason.