This Will End Up Being Jada’s Fault
I’ve heard the murmurs. Did you see how mad Jada looked? Did you see her crazy eyes? And what about that Wicked Witch of the West emerald green dress? What do you think she was packing in there?
If Will didn’t do something at that moment, Jada was gonna kick his ass. She was going to do Tarantino on his tuxedo tuchas. Will had to make a decision and fast! Slap Chris or get bitch slapped by G.I. Jane II later.
It’s always the woman’s fault. I know because I’m the woman and it’s always my fault. Whenever I chain my husband to the radiator, I’m the bad guy! When I throw a hot cappuccino on a barista, I’m the Karenator.
How many nice men have you met and wondered, “What’s he doing with that harpy?” I’m the harpy. So what if I ride a broom and DIY voodoo dolls in the image of my frenemies?
My husband is a sweetheart. When we were younger, people thought he was too nice for me. Just because he made lunches for the homeless and carried old ladies over puddles. He’s so nice that the other day, in Texas, the cashier at a restaurant gave him a free piece of pie.
The cashier said to my husband, “This is because you were the nicest customer I’ve had all week.” Women are expected to be nice and we don’t get pie for it. We get pie in the face for not being nice.
I know so many people who blame the wives. Recently someone said to me about a mutual friend, “I don’t hate her. I hate her for holding him back.”
I also recently heard someone say about another woman, “I don’t think he’d be so depressed if he weren’t married to her. Take her away and he’d be a happy man.”
Another assault towards women I recently heard was, “He’s stressed out because she micromanages him. You should have seen him when he was younger. So relaxed. Now, he’s always tense. I blame her.” Right. Nothing else changed. Not the three kids. The 80-hour workweek. Gotta be the wife.
You can’t make this stuff up. It’s always the wife’s fault. Even when the husband resorts to seeing hookers, the wife must have been withholding sex.
When the guy goes into debt, she is blamed for wanting diamonds and indoor heating. He was just…