How do we make the anxiousness go away?

What my grandmother said about struggle was, “We walked to school for miles in the snow.”

What my mother said was, “You are lucky to be a woman now.”

What we say now is, “It’s never been this bad.” On the other hand…

Remember a time when you weren’t constantly anxious?

Remember a time when a stomachache was a stomachache and a headache was a headache? And you didn’t blame the government? It was probably something you ate?

Remember when you didnt plan how to manage your stress on election night, the way a survivalist plans for the end of the world?

This election has brought to a head what was there all along. America was simmering. Now it is boiling.

What do you miss the most? Is it the not-knowing how troubled our country was? The blissful ignorance about what lay beneath…

Is it the boredom of feeling nothing? Days when it felt like nothing was wrong?

Do you miss the confidence that the winner of the election will be somebody who cares about people even if you disagree?

If you’ve lived a life without anxiousness until now, you’re one of the lucky ones. Or, you were one who happily lived with your head buried deep in the sand.

The truth is, the Americans who are not financially, emotionally, and physically secure, anxiousness has been around a while. It’s nothing new. If you don’t expect you’ll get killed when you walk outside your house, you’ve been lucky.

But…

If you live somewhere dangerous…

If your partner is abusive…

If you suffer from a mental disorder…

If you are considered a threat because of how you look…

If you can’t put food on the table…

If you don’t have a roof over your head…

If you were born anxious…even when nothing specific is occurring…

This feeling the world is experiencing now is nothing new to you.

Recently, I read an article about a University of Chicago professor, Kathlene Belew, who said that no matter what happens with this election, we’re in trouble. The white nationals have been awoken, have organized and are connected.

She said, in a Chicago Tribune article, “The United States is very unique in how little it has done in confronting that past. We’ve had no national truth and reconciliation effort(.)…I think that would be one step forward to confronting racial injustice and continued racial violence, yes. In other countries, truth and reconciliation commissions have done an incredible job, not only in sort of the justice-seeking part of their mandate, but also in the work of getting people aligned around a shared understanding of their own history.”(https://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/books/ct-ent-uchicago-white-power-expert-belew-militia-proud-boys-1030-20201030-ufkbojvcz5g55ilbfr47jjdu7e-story.html)

All of our wounds, as Americans, are open. Whether we choose to look at them or not. Nothing has been resolved. People are still suffering from the wounds this country has inflicted hundreds of years ago and no healing or accountability has been done.

“White people have a sickness,” a leader in Restorative Justice said to me. “We’re never going to feel better until we deal with our sickness. Our sickness is not noticing how we benefit from white supremacy, to start with.”

When she told me this, I felt what she was saying in my body. I could feel that sickness, that need to make myself feel better without acknowledging how I participate in the sins of my whiteness.

No amount of yoga, meditation, CBD, wine, Peleton will save us. The healing needs to come from within.

So, as we wait for this election…as we bite our nails and drink our drinks, we must notice, no matter what happens, we are far from well.

4 X Top Writer. Satire, Humor, Food, and Fashion Top Writer. If you like what you just read, subscribe to my newsletter at Substack https://amy7f9.substack.com/

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