How the Heck Does this Friend Thing Work if You Have Paypal?

Farewell, My Sweet Friends

Shakespeare was here

Amy Sea
2 min readNov 29, 2023

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a sparkley background with the words cancelled diagonally written across
Canva image adapted by Amy Sea

Hello, it’s me, Amy Sea. I wanted to bid you all farewell because I had to cancel my membership.

I did not mean to.

I was trying to join the Friend Program and they told me I had to quit my membership if I was using PayPal and then rejoin after the pay period ended.

My heart, my weak fragile Medium heart is trembling.

I just opened my email and there was a letter from Medium saying “I’m sorry to see you go.”

GO? WHERE THE HECK DID THEY THINK I WAS GOING?

I felt like Juliet after I thought Romeo was dead and no longer blogging.

Had Juliet had been patient and waited until December 7th, the new pay period began, she would have still been alive and writing on Medium today. But nooooo…that Dear Juliet letter from Romeo bidding adieu was too much for her dainty reading glasses.

“I’m not a Medium Member anymore? And, I’m single?!” she screamed.

Then in her confusion, she mixed up Shakepeares plays, drank some poison, and called out “ET TU, BRUTE?” and collapsed on her stone slab placed in the center of a watery Cirque de Soleil stage on the Vegas Strip.

“Shit,” said Romeo when he woke up, swimming over. “I should have been more clear about my exit. Or maybe I should start snoring in case this kind of thing happens again. I can’t be dead if I’m snoring, right?”

Hopefully, by December 7th, the next pay period, I will be a member again — but until that day, I bid you farewell because a blog under a name other than Medium doesn’t smell near as sweet.

Adieu adieu I bid you adieu

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Amy Sea

100 X Top Writer, Editor— MuddyUm Editor, Breast Stories Editor-in-Chief — Comedian, Satirist, Humorist, Top Writer. Publisher of Breast Stories.