Member-only story
TITS OUT
Don’t Let Your Underwire Stab You
Dear Breast Writers and Readers,
First, I apologize for my hiatus. Sometimes I can only do forty things at once and then my back starts to scream “No more. Stop. Put that down.”
Like when you’re wearing a bra that is cutting into your sides. Or when that little wire that hinges together your bra pokes out stabbing your sternum causing you to spend all day pretending you’re not being repeatedly stabbed.
Why are you making that face, Amy?
What face? (stab stab stab)
I’m cheap when it comes to bras and when I was committed to underwire, I was frequently stabbed. Like many of you, I thought poking the wire back into the gaping rip would solve the problem — only to be stabbed repeatedly with this lame fix.
You okay, Amy? You look like you’re in pain?
Who me? (stab stab stab)
Surprisingly, I never tried to duct tape my bra back together. Surprisingly because I am a firm believer in duct tape. What I should have done was turn my old bras into folk art or burn them in front of some business that was taking rights away from women.
