Dear Amy Sea,

Is everyone in love with my girlfriend?

Amy Sea

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“My friend and my girlfriend” by garamt is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Dear Amy Sea,

I met this great girl, Lola, and it seemed like we had everything in common. She laughed at my jokes. She didn’t only eat salad. She played soccer as well as my friends. She swore all the time. I thought This is it, man. This is what love feels like. Meeting yourself you can make out with.

But then, because the other cleat always drops on love’s tender floor, I noticed Lola had this kind of connection with everyone. She talked about football with my friend Dave. She made kale smoothies like my sister, Lisa. Exact same ingredients. She had the same dog as my neighbor. She shared a birthday with at least three people we knew.

Honestly, she started to remind me of the Best Buy salesmen, who say, “Oh yeah, that 15,000 dollar tv is amazing. I have that same one at home. And that radio. And that phone.” I’m always like, “Please, dude. On your salary?”

Lola was exactly like everyone! It made me wonder, “Is everyone in love with my girlfriend because she’s everyone’s perfect match?”

I know this is probably a stupid problem to have. People write you all about serious issues like cheating and alcoholism and mothers-in-law, but I’m concerned.

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Amy Sea

100 X Top Writer, Editor— MuddyUm Editor, Breast Stories Editor-in-Chief — Comedian, Satirist, Humorist, Top Writer. Publisher of Breast Stories.