Use the fork, Luke

“Beyonce VMA Red Carpet” by is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

I never attend a family holiday without making an emergency therapy appointment. Sometimes, I make it six months in advance. You’re probably like, “Duh, making an emergency therapy appointment six months ahead of time doesn’t qualify as an emergency!”

But that naive comment only tells me you weren’t a Girl…

What the fuck I mean

“Cleavage (just an ordinary middle aged woman thing, I suppose)” by juliejordanscott is licensed under CC BY 2.0

In the old days, 50 meant I could slide my bunioned toes into my Birkenstocks and let my breasts begin their descent to my knees. Then, the film American Pie introduced the term MILF.

Even though I was offended, I felt pressured to keep being sexy. Why? So, my teenage…

Amy Sea

10 X Top Writer. Satire, Humor, Food, and Fashion Top Writer. If you like what you just read, subscribe at Substack

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