Why on this night is this sex better than on other nights? — It was the best sex of my life. I hear it all the time. Do you know who is always talking about having the best sex of their life? Newly minted single people — people who just got out of their marriages. I know what you married people are thinking…

Intentional talking — My son was trying to explain a feeling he was having. He was throwing around words and sentences like a juggler going from ping pong balls to fire swords. Then he’d say, “No, no. That's not what I mean” and try new sentences. …

The system is rigged, girl — This morning, I woke up in the wrong narrative. Can you imagine? The wrong narrative! I immediately knew whose it was. Cindy Noel Levine’s, my best friend from college. I could tell it was hers because I woke up and blow dried my hair. That wasn’t the weird part. I…

Do I get to choose what it changes about my life? — If you possess breasts you jam into bras, you’ve gotten ad messages like these — lifesaving bra, life-changing bra, life-affirming bra, the only bra you’ll ever need. I had that bra. I wore it for ten years. It’s disgusting now. I tried to donate it to the Goodwill and they…

Participating in an impromptu strip club — Have you ever been flashed by a dance teacher? I have. I used to take a spiritual dance class at the YMCA. It was super hippy-dippy. It’s one of those classes you either become obsessed with or you run like hell from. If it were a cult, I would have…

Summer heat and boob talk — Do you ever wonder what you would say to your boobs if they were listening? Do you ever wonder what you would say to other people’s boobs if they were listening? Have you ever considered writing your breasts a letter? I have. We all should. Here’s mine. Dear Breasts, I…

Boob fashion is transforming how we display our breasts — Yesterday I asked a friend if she had any ideas for boob stories. She said, how about underboobs and sideboobs? I’d heard of sideboobs but underboobs sounded like a condition where your secondary boobs were hidden beneath your primary boobs. Were underboobs four boobs? Was that something people did now? …

When The Humor is Ready, The Mentor Will Come — I joined Medium in 2019 but I wasn’t particularly prolific. From October 2019 to June 2020, I wrote three stories. They sucked. During that time, I mostly wrote on my bed in partly used notebooks I’d accumulated at the Goodwill. I wasn’t online so much as under the covers scribbling. …

Wormholes will get you there — I traveled through the multiverse last weekend. Jealous? Other than a wicked interdimensional migraine, I’d go back. I entered one wormhole that spit me out into a world where writers were applauded as they entered and left coffee shops. I wept when I witnessed this. I licked the floor, hoping…