Stop making pickleball courts — Here ye, here ye! Fellow Baby Boomers and Gen Xers! Let us switch on our hearing aids and listen to the cries of our children and grandchildren. Kids today only care about the TikTok and the Snapchat, but we must bare some responsibility for the downfall of youth. I’m as…

Move along, reader — How ya doin’? I’m an unboosted story. Don’t pretend to be surprised. I saw you scanning me with disinterest, skimming without connecting, reading without conceptualizing the depth I excavated to bring you this tale. Let me save you the trouble and come right out with it. I’m unboosted and that’s…

Boobs at Barton Springs — I’m at the age when I’m more worried about my breast health than breast sexiness. I don’t put on swimsuits and wonder how my boobs look in them. I wear swimsuits that are functional. If I’m swimming laps, I wear something that keeps my girls from flopping out. If I’m…

If breasts could talk — Boobs. When you’re young, you flaunt’m. When you get older, you push’m up. On my walks along the lake, I always see college-aged girls wearing tiny tops and mom jeans. It’s a cute look. The appearance of so much flesh is jarring at first, but then it reminds me of…

Calm down and put in your earbuds — If you have to ask if you’re a backseat driver, you are. Probably. There are always exceptions. It’s probably not you. Get help. The 12-Step Program for the Backseat Driver Wear headphones and a sleeping mask while passengering. Backseat drivers — you need to tune out the world. You see…

Maybe she was nice before the goo got her — Why do I go back to this same passport office every time? Knowing the woman behind the window was exposed to the evil goo from Ghostbusters. Am I a sadist? Do I enjoy being scolded? Do I savor being treated like a complete idiot? Apparently — because as soon as…

Blind spot — What drivers don’t understand is backseat driver’s non-stop directions have nothing to do with the driver’s abilities. It’s not about the driver. You could be the best driver on the planet and a qualified backseat driver will still scream “Slow turn! Quick! Turn right up here! Don’t you see that…

Share your story here — Dear Breast Stories Writers and Readers, As we count down to Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I urge you to write about your breast cancer stories and your mammo stories. Who hasn’t had, known someone with, or lost someone to breast cancer? Breast cancer surrounds us. Paula Shablo wrote an important…

There is so much happening wrong on the road — Hi. My name is Amy and I’m in backseat driver recovery. It’s been about three days since my last unsolicited demand to a driver. I’m still pretty shaky. I still want to give directions ALL THE TIME. The Backseat DMV wasn’t kidding when they said “One drive at a time.” …