Stop making pickleball courts — Here ye, here ye! Fellow Baby Boomers and Gen Xers! Let us switch on our hearing aids and listen to the cries of our children and grandchildren. Kids today only care about the TikTok and the Snapchat, but we must bare some responsibility for the downfall of youth. I’m as…

Move along, reader — How ya doin’? I’m an unboosted story. Don’t pretend to be surprised. I saw you scanning me with disinterest, skimming without connecting, reading without conceptualizing the depth I excavated to bring you this tale. Let me save you the trouble and come right out with it. I’m unboosted and that’s…

Boobs at Barton Springs — I’m at the age when I’m more worried about my breast health than breast sexiness. I don’t put on swimsuits and wonder how my boobs look in them. I wear swimsuits that are functional. If I’m swimming laps, I wear something that keeps my girls from flopping out. If I’m…

If breasts could talk — Boobs. When you’re young, you flaunt’m. When you get older, you push’m up. On my walks along the lake, I always see college-aged girls wearing tiny tops and mom jeans. It’s a cute look. The appearance of so much flesh is jarring at first, but then it reminds me of…

Far away, so close — Back in the 1970s, when we thought Russia would eviscerate us, we had nowhere to run. So, as elementary students, we crawled under our desks to hide from the bombs. We also did that for tornados. Desks were a catch-all for nature and the Cold War. I now see what…

Negative role models — I‘m going to show you how to edit. I’ve had some compassionate and thorough editors, so I know what I’m talking about. However, this is not a piece about how to edit like you care. A thoughtful editor is $6.99 a dozen, and those aren't even the organic ones. I’m…

Nepotism at its best — Adam Sandler is not only famous for jokes, but for hiring his friends and family. Why shouldn’t he hire them? Adam Sandler’s friends and family are funny and he makes comedies. Two thumbs up for Adam Sandler’s You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah. My right thumb goes…

“I simply fell short of my values on Sunday,” said the Grandma — Surveillance video captured during the “Beetlejuice” musical in Denver appears to show Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) vaping inside the theater, which contradicts her claim that the smoke was emitted from fog machines. CNN’s Erin Burnett has the report. (CNN) Lauren Boebert, Colorado Representative, mother, grandma, businesswoman, and gun activist, was…

Flee the suburbs — At first, I thought it was the leaf blowers. It’s always the damn leaf blowers. The leaf blower syndicate is more connected than the Teamsters. We’ll never get rid of them. That’s why I thought people were deserting their houses in the suburbs. Why property values were plummeting. What leaf…